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Infidelity

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Could you forgive a cheater? If you asked me a few years (or even a few months) ago my answer would be a straight up no. I already have trust issues and personally feel like I wouldn’t be able to trust them again.

But what is cheating. So many different views and opinions. I know some people who say they could forgive their partner for kissing someone as long as they didn’t sleep together, other people would be fine with both as long as it was meaningless, and some people freak out if their partner is merely flirting a little bit, and consider that mentally cheating.

Luckily I’ve never had to be put in the position where I have been cheated on, so, I really don’t know how I’d react.

The book I’m currently reading (The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas, good book, worth a read if you have the chance) has a lot of infidelity in marriages happening and it got me thinking a lot about the topic.

These days the word Love is thrown around like crazy, but I find commitment much more special. “I’m committed to you” is far more powerful than “I love you”, loving someone doesn’t take effort. You can cheat on someone and still love them, but are you commited to them? no.

I’ve started thinking about the difference between porn and cheating and there doesn’t seem to be much of one if you think about it. The other person is still getting their physical pleasure from another being that isn’t their partner. Of course, this day an age pretty much all men watch porn (and a good deal of women). If a woman were to break up with her husband/boyfriend for watching porn society would think that she was completely over reacting. Unless he’s a porn addict and it is actively interfering with the couples actual sex life.

Where do you draw the line though? People say porn is different because it’s not a real women, but what about cyber sex than? is that not the same as porn? and with the way technology is going it won’t be long until masturbation to porn will pretty much feel like real sex with a real human being. Is there really a huge difference between mental and physical connections?

If a guy watches porn every now and again but still is a loving father to his wife and kids, still sexually attracted to his wife (and let’s him know it) what’s the harm? If the guy casually as a mistress who he sleeps with very now and again but still is a loving father to his wife and kids, still sexually attracted to his wife (and let’s him know it) what’s the harm? It’s just interesting that’s all. Is it worth throwing an entire loving relationship away because of one slip up? I… I don’t know.

Personally I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if I cheated on my partner but could I forgive them? Who knows, hopefully that’s something I never have to figure out.

Just some food for thought. This is just a random stream of consciousness, please share your opinions.

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About saoirse

A young adventurer like yourself.

One response »

  1. I think it’s all in what is communicated with your partner. I think if you don’t know and learn later about their porn activities, then I would see that as cheating. However if you talk about it and they know all to well about your activities, then it’s fine. If you say you don’t like it and they continue, then your consequences won’t come as a surprise.
    I was in a committed relationship in which she was cheating on me with her vibrator. Where she preferred that machine over me. What an interesting conversation that was, resulting in me moving out.
    Communication is what makes or breaks a relationship.
    Thank you for this wonderful post, and I hope your path is lit with positive uplifting adventures.
    My blessings to you…

    Reply

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